


May You Be In Heaven

by ProneToRelapse



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6043456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProneToRelapse/pseuds/ProneToRelapse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...Half an hour before the Devil knows you're dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	May You Be In Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm new to this fandom. Allow me to cripple you emotionally.

" _If this all goes sideways... M_ _eet me at the bar. I_ _'m buying._ " 

 

. 

 

. 

 

. 

 

He takes her hand. 

 

He tells her, " _no_." 

 

He grips her wrist, tighter than a manacle, and she pauses in her retreat. He's speaking and with no lips, she cannot make it out. Her ears are ringing, all she can hear is fire and blood. The longer he holds her, the harder the blood on her hands will be to wash off. She pulls against him. 

 

He grips her wrist. 

 

And tells her, " _no._ " 

 

More bodies fall, but she cannot look away to see their faces, cannot look away from the fierce pain in his eyes to identify the bodies of her comrades while he holds her fast and refuses to let go. A soldier pulls on his arm, and his claws flex in silent warning. He'll not release her. Let the universe be damned. Let it burn away into nothing. While he yet holds her, they still have time. 

 

" _No matter what happens here, know that I_ _'ll always love you._ " 

 

" _Shepard, no--_ " 

 

She makes to pull away, to break his grip and turn her back on everything they never had a chance to be. He growls, mandibles flaring in helpless rage. A soft keen of fear tears from his throat; subharmonics deafening in their shared silence. She cannot hear him. He doesn't know if it's a blessing or a curse, because he _needs_ her to understand. _Don't go don't go don't go..._  

 

She touches his face, soft like a sigh, and her eyes are filled with warmth and love and not a single trace of fear. If she goes to her death now, she goes willingly in the knowledge that she left him safe, and loved. She gave him the chance they didn't have before. She loves him enough to let him live without her. 

 

_Don't be so cruel. Don’t go where I can't follow._  

 

" _Shepard, I-- love you, too..."_  

 

His grip breaks and she backpeddles rapidly, out of his reach, out of his life. Even if he lunges for her now, his injuries won't let him get far. He cannot follow, he cannot reach her. 

 

" _Get out of here-- Now!_ " 

 

The hatch door folds up and the soldiers behind him shout orders he cannot understand. All he sees is her face. All he can feel is pain. She is saving him in the only way she knows how. The only way to stop him from following her. To make sure he stays behind. Going where he can't follow. 

 

" _There's no Shepard without_ _Vakarian_ _._ " 

 

The hatch door closes. He cannot see her. He cannot follow. 

 

There's no Shepard without Vakarian, and as he stands before the board of memoriam, he cannot bring himself to place her name. She has taken everything from him. How can he be Vakarian now that there is no Shepard? 

 

How can he be without her? 

 

" _May you be in H_ _eaven half an hour before the D_ _evil knows you are dead._ " 

 

. 

 

. 

 

. 

 

"Half an hour's up, Garrus." Freckles. A smile. A kiss. "You've kept me waiting long enough." 

 

. 

 

. 

 

. 

 

"I'm... Sorry." 

 

. 

 

. 

 

. 

 

"First round's on you, Vakarian. You promised." 


End file.
